Ella Gale
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AMHERST, Mass. — Smorth College announced today that instead of face-to-face instruction, it will release its fall semester classes on…
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Kevin Tit
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TUCSON, Ariz. — Local cop and racist bully Dennis Peters, who once brought a gun to Roosevelt High School in…
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BLUE ISLAND, Ill. — Local father Lucas Carroll is doing his best to homeschool his children during coronavirus stay-at-home orders,…
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Jordan Breeding
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SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS — Professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft admit they’re struggling with teaching students remotely via Zoom several months…
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Doug Francisco
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NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies…
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Rachel Clayton
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KYOTO, Japan — A troubling new study from the University of Hidari Wakibara has found that it takes a typical…
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John Dixon
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DAYTON, Ohio — Local 38-year-old scenester James Adkins is bemoaning to anyone who will listen that up-and-coming emo kids are…
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James Knapp
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GREAT BARRINGTON, Mass. — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan stood up to speak last night at an assembly about the…
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Ben Friedman
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COLTS NECK, N.J. — Local eighth grader Steve McKenzie was confused and disillusioned last week when his first kiss at…
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Lauren Lavín
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AKRON, Ohio — Local fourth-grader Vincent “Vinny” Ortiz-Galt felt “I don’t know, just bad, I guess” about wearing a homemade…
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