KEENE, N.H. — Local dad Richard Miller is reportedly about to start another boring story in which he’ll be sure to note the race of…
ORLANDO, Fla. — An alarming new report revealed that Nickelodeon executives have been using the set of ‘90s game show “Legends of The Hidden Temple”…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local couple Darren Ganon and Sally Bouchard-Sanchez announced they will continue pursuing their toxic relationship in order to maintain a steady diet of…
MAUI, Hawaii — A humpback whale off the coast of Maui found the musical offerings overheard from noise-rock-themed ‘Sonic Cruise’ to be lacking in originality,…
MILAN, Italy — The incorporeal specter that has haunted the historic La Scala opera house for more than two centuries recently came to accept the…
BUTLER, Pa. — Local lesbian Katie Hargrove recently came to the horrifying realization that she is becoming her father, sources currently standing at her window…
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Local man and lead singer of popular metal band, A Fistful of Fetuses, thought it a good idea to consult his company’s…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The cautionary tale of long-time road dog and punk scene veteran “Wild” Bill Ketchum is reportedly being taken as encouragement by struggling…
LOS ANGELES — Production of two new “Mission Impossible” films came to a grinding halt after Tom Cruise received news that dictator of the galactic…
NEW YORK — Local woman Francisca Noguera asked her abusive partner of five months if he could extend his grooming habits to include his hygiene,…
SUNVIEW, Ariz. — A local punk scene is committing to their decision to keep well-known abuser and the only keyboardist anyone knows, Matt Hulls, in…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in your Type O Negative shirt…
LOS ANGELES — Astrology enthusiast Allison Cleary remains unaware that she is merely two TikTok videos away from interacting with an algorithm dedicated to spreading…
ROCK SPRINGS, Wyo. — Recently divorced woman Marie Nowak can now finally say she has one thing in common with her parents following the dissolution…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local deranged person Billy “Bile” Harrison reportedly listened to the album created by his friend Jake Gomez on shuffle rather than from…