Doug Kolic
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April 21, 2025
HOUSTON — A local 39-year-old Rockets fan’s entire financial future is dependent on hitting a promotional half-court shot worth $100,000,…
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FRANKFORT, Ky. — Oft-succumbing and soon-dying United States senator Mitch McConnell revealed his post-political plans of destroying all the houses…
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Rob Ryder
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February 3, 2025
BALTIMORE — Local vinyl collector and self-proclaimed financial wizard Eric Drysden recently calculated his net worth using vinyl website Discogs.com,…
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Steve Packosky
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December 29, 2024
LA MESA, Calif. — Prolific thrash metal frontman Dave Mustaine started a rival retirement organization after being removed from the…
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I used to set aside fifteen percent of my paycheck for IRAs, savings accounts, and other get-rich-slow schemes. But why…
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Trevor Graham
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May 20, 2024
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a living nightmare of a job that takes every ounce of your being…
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Chris Bowen
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March 14, 2024
NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. — Dale Buttry, owner of cherished local record store Spinsy’s Records and Tapes, has come to the…
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Brett Olsen
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January 6, 2024
AKRON, Ohio — Local scene legend and bartender William Lindberg admitted his dreams of retiring in his fifties or sixties…
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Trevor Graham
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August 15, 2023
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Aging hardcore guy and noted crowd killer Tom Reilly reportedly received a gold X Swatch for his…
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Sara Mellas
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January 9, 2023
ATLANTA — A 1996 Ford Econoline E-150 is spending its retirement transporting guests of the Holiday Inn safely to and…
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