MODESTO, Calif. — Local bachelor Lou Charksville admitted that he can’t be himself around his new exceptionally lifelike sex doll which is far too out…
We Compared These Strains of Sativa and Indica Because We Can’t Ever Just Enjoy Anything
What’s up, friends of the bud? If you’re like us, you don’t treat marijuana like something to huff out of a beer can bong with…
Trump’s Approval Rating Reportedly 40% Among Last Remaining American
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s approval rating has failed to crack the 40% mark among the last remaining American who managed to survive the pandemic and…
Man Arrested for Comic Mischief
BUFFALO, N.Y. — After a night of allegedly bawdy behavior, Jason “Buzzly” Godrich was detained early this morning by Buffalo police on the charge of…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Homebrew beer connoisseur Ira Rose succeeded again last week in ranking all local homebrews he tasted from worst to somehow even worse,…
Band Trashes Hotel Room on Yelp
TUCSON, Ariz. — Employees of the Sunny Side Inn discovered this morning that touring rock’n’roll band The Squashers viciously destroyed their room online, leaving a…
Metal Zine Regrets 666 Skull Rating System
SECAUCUS, N.J. – Tensions are mounting at False Assault, a print zine dedicated to the New Jersey underground metal scene, as witnesses say the editorial…