Quarantine Tag Archives - Page 5

Kate Howard • June 17, 2020

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. — Quarantined woman Andrea Wolfe admitted today that she prefers Zoom sex sans video with her…

Stephen Bell • June 16, 2020

MINNEAPOLIS — Popular retailer Target sternly pledged to its employees today that any Coronavirus they are exposed to at their…

Sari Beliak • June 13, 2020

MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Local woman Frankie Landis exceeded all her previous birthday expectations by somehow still managing to start a…

Lauren Lavín • June 10, 2020

CHICAGO — A small group of household objects joined together last night to escape an impending and prolonged fucking by…

John Merrifield • May 27, 2020

NEW YORK — Local two-timer Thomas McGibbons is looking forward to the end of quarantine after being stuck with his…

Goodrich Gevaart • May 26, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Local punk and tall guy Michael Snyder replaced standing in front of his short girlfriend Anna Nelson…

Patrick Crooks • May 25, 2020

SAN DIEGO — Thanks to the slowdown in day-to-day police activity, local officer Scott Martinson is now committing abuses of…

Ish Gupta • May 23, 2020

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Streaming giant Hulu announced Tuesday that, due to nationwide stay-at-home orders, fans of the mid-2000s sitcom…

Patrick Crooks • May 23, 2020

NEW YORK — Quarantined man Michael Gray repeated his rigid daily routine moments ago when he turned off his alarm,…

Zach Russell • May 22, 2020

ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Lifelong nerd Nate Guajardo emerged from a local Planet Fitness facility today “beefed out as fuck” after…

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