LOS ANGELES — Shock rocker Marilyn Manson finally addressed years of rumors in a press conference this morning, denying any involvement with Pennsylvania pop-punk veterans…
PHILADELPHIA — Local anarchist punk band Hidden Rebellion discovered yesterday that every member of the group is actually an FBI plant, shadowy sources confirmed. “Our…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local hardcore kid Pete Sheehan was overcome with emotions at a show yesterday after running into his ex-hoodie of two months, sources…
BALTIMORE — Depressed researchers at Johns Hopkins University suggest a proper night’s sleep should last between 14 and 18 hours per night, according to a…
SAN DIEGO — Local punk Chris Abernathy regretted his impulse decision to buy merch last night, wishing he waited until the show ended to purchase…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local mother-of-three Melissa Trayne suggested “one photo without the girlfriends” today, implying they may not want some of the women in…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local uncle and self-described “Make America Great Again Patriot” Jerry Siedow taped a handwritten setlist of prepared, unpopular opinions and comments next…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook executives held a press conference today to announce that they have banned a far-right, anti-George Soros conspiracy theory page they’d…
MACON, Ga. — Local diner and well-known “disgusting shithole” Rocky’s Grill has reportedly been hosting local punk rock shows at night in what’s being called…
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — Local DIY punk venue Fr33k Haus had pledged to equip each of their bathroom stalls with doors by 2021, management…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Show organizer Nora King was forced to rely on her do-it-yourself ethos again moments ago to have an orgasm, after her casual…
DENVER — Local straight edge punk Carson Howell struck a precarious accord yesterday with the Mormon family living next door, banding together for a drug-free…
LOS ANGELES — Filming of reality game show “Fear Factor” came to a halt yesterday afternoon when self-proclaimed “punk as fuck” contestant Charles Edgarton would…
GREEN BAY, Wis. — Local poser Adam Luis-Meyers narrowly reached the end moments ago of a two-hour long conversation about an album he’s never actually…
COLUMBUS — Local man Louis Contreras enthusiastically noted Monday morning that a man wearing a Turnstile T-shirt was in the background of a breaking news…