NEW YORK — Popular disco group the Village People announced they had severed ties with Victor Willis, better known as the Cop from the Village…
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Joseph Calbroni resorted to imagining all of the protestors he is beating the shit out of are his wife in…
LOS ANGELES — Wutherton Tall, the creator of conservative food blog The Thin Blue Lime, scribbled a five-star review into his drool-covered Moleskine after licking…
MINNEAPOLIS — Law enforcement officials have renamed the interrogation tactic “Good Cop, Bad Cop” to “Accomplice Cop, Murderer Cop” to more accurately reflect the reality…
LOS ANGELES — A woman protesting the killings of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd died of natural causes moments after she attacked a police baton…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Rookie police officer and self-proclaimed klutz Ofc. Dennis Barton totally embarrassed himself this morning, spilling an entire cup of coffee all…
PITTSBURGH — In an act of intense rage, local toddler Timmy “TJ” Orosco, Jr. set fire to his tiny pajamas which were adorned with characters…
LOS ANGELES — Following days of demonstration in the streets, Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti instituted a curfew for 30 minutes ago, effective immediately, multiple…
LOS ANGELES — Racism made a shocking comeback today after it was previously believed defeated by the Blackout Tuesday social media campaign yesterday, according to…
DALLAS — White liberal and exhausted local ally, Sonya Neptin, is wondering how many tweets they have to write before racism is finally cancelled, sources…
NEW YORK — Police horse Tiny Dancer, a member of the NYPD Mounted Unit, remains completely unaware that trampling protesters advocating for racial justice and…
NEW YORK — Local undercover cop Daniel Cleary accidentally revealed himself as law enforcement during the protests surrounding the murder of George Floyd at the…
This past week we all watched as executive chef Jeff Tray was eliminated from the hit Food Network show “Chopped” after the dimwit attempted to…
LOS ANGELES — Human remains discovered in a shallow grave in Angeles Forest yesterday were identified as those of legendary skateboarding pioneer Won-Ton “Animal” Chin,…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local conspiracy theorist Vinnie Logano discovered a secret plot yesterday to kick him out of the “BFF Forever” group chat, according to…