SOUTH BEND, Ind. – Rumors of sexual tension between Martin’s Super Market employees Jordan Williams and Jackie Martinez were determined…
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Dave McNamara
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SOMERVILLE, Mass. — Graphic Designer Terry Spinoza recently spent nearly two thousand dollars on an Audio Perfektion turntable in order…
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Chris Bratton
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PHILADELPHIA — Locally sword enthusiast, and painfully single man, Dan Gorman admits he ‘hasn’t quite cracked the code’ of online…
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SACRAMENTO — Young Joey Hopkins was forced to listen to volumes five, seven, and eight of his father’s Epitaph Punk-O-Rama…
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Bobby Korec
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MODESTO, Calif. — Local bachelor Lou Charksville admitted that he can’t be himself around his new exceptionally lifelike sex doll…
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Zachary Wolf
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BEMIDJI, Minn. — A well-worn Danzig shirt owned by middle-aged metalhead Kyle Russo narrowly avoided being donated to Goodwill with…
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Louie Aronowitz
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PERRYSBURG, Ohio — A recent posting of singer/songwriter Dan Sheen’s Bandcamp link has silenced his local friend group chat despite…
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Chris Bowen
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CANASTOTA, N.Y — A rough-looking carnival worker sporting a Pantera shirt responsible for running a Ferris wheel made it certain…
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Matt McInerney
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local parents Jean and Tom Decker finally decided it's acceptable to let their middle-aged son watch that…
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Tim Graham
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KENOSHA, Wis. — The long-hunted serial murderer known only as The Kenosha Cannibal was pleasantly surprised he could still slip…
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