CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University have concluded that 90 percent of new songs are not attempts at a legitimate musical work, but actually…
VALPARAISO, Ind. — Local punk band Panama Root Canal enjoyed a record turnout last night for the Cleveland stop of their Midwest tour when their…
DAVIS, Calif. — Sue and Phil Atherton were caught exchanging furtive glances last night in anticipation of the coitus scheduled for while their son is…
CHICAGO — Singer/guitarist of political punk band Numb Chomsky and Global Political Systems Ph.D. candidate Miles “The Throat” Fitzsimmons realized during last night’s rehearsal that…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Members of death metal band Bastard Death Satan Machine believe their drummer has been intentionally sabotaging their band’s relationship to fuel passionate…
NEW YORK — A much-needed last-minute practice for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was delayed yet again by fucking Dale Andrews, who was late to rehearsal for the…
SAN DIEGO, Calif. – Disturbing security footage surfaced overnight of political skate-punk band Make America Skate Again taking performance enhancing lessons, causing a storm of…
PHOENIX – Critics called into question the work ethic and energy conservation skills of hardcore band Alien 5 earlier this week following charges of flagrant…
WASHINGTON — With Hillary Clinton’s steady rise in the 2016 Presidential election polls, former President Bill Clinton is optimistic he and his ska band, Slightly…
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Kevin Makings allegedly spent five grueling hours practicing in front of his full-length mirror preparing for his band’s eventual breakthrough deal…
WORCESTER, Mass. — The pressure of weekly band practice is becoming too much for 16-year-old unemployed bassist, Pete Landry, to endure who constantly cites stress-related headaches, trouble…