Pedophile Tag Archives - Page 2

Real Life Monster Mash: Here’s a List of Everyone Who Flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s Plane

Max Barth • October 13, 2022

Unless you’ve been sequestered in a spooky old castle this October, chances are you’ve already heard the novelty hit “The…

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Prince Andrew Wondering if Queen’s Funeral Will Be All-Ages

Doug Kolic • September 18, 2022

LONDON – Prince Andrew, Duke of York, is reportedly pestering the entire staff of Buckingham Palace to ask if his…

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Pope Worried Punishing French Bishops Will Only Make Them Hornier

Freelancer • October 7, 2021

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis admitted to being concerned that punishing the French clergy responsible for decades of sexual abuse…

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Pope Worried Punishing French Bishops Will Only Make Them Hornier

Freelancer • October 7, 2021

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis admitted to being concerned that punishing the French clergy responsible for decades of sexual abuse…

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HI, I’m Your New Neighbor, and I’m Legally Required To Disclose That I’m the Singer From Goo Goo Dolls

Nathan Kamal • July 16, 2021

Hello, I just moved in next door and wanted to introduce myself. I am also legally required to disclose to…

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QAnon Supporter Wishes President Would Get Off Twitter and Focus on Hunting Democratic Pedophile Satanists

Constantine Platanias • November 1, 2020

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Local QAnon follower and noted conspiracy theorist Nick Perriman complained to friends today that President Trump is…

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pop-punk, frontman, young, girl, girlfriend, COVID-19

Careless Girlfriend Endangers Older, Compromised Immune System of Pop-Punk Frontman Boyfriend

John Danek • March 27, 2020

PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — 16-year-old Misty Lebowitz carelessly endangered her much, much older and immunocompromised pop-punk singer boyfriend Scotty McDickers yesterday…

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Pedophile Gets Some Canvassing In for Bloomberg While He’s Already Going Door-to-Door

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 3, 2020

EL PASO, Texas — Convicted pedophile Marcus Fleming killed two birds with one stone earlier today when he canvassed for…

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warped, tour, warped tour, 97, clinton, epstein, trump

Trump, Clinton Deny Meeting with Jeffrey Epstein Backstage at Warped Tour ’97

Patrick Coyne • July 21, 2019

WASHINGTON — Presidents Donald Trump and Bill Clinton both denied reports today claiming they were backstage at Warped Tour ’97…

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I Was Michael Jackson’s Aquarium Cleaner for 15 Years, and Admittedly This Doesn’t Seem Like a Big Deal in Comparison But That Guy Was a Very Irresponsible Fish Owner

Dan Rice • March 20, 2019

There is a lot being said about Michael Jackson at the moment. Rumors of monstrous behavior involving children have haunted…

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