CLEVELAND — A line formed outside the legendary DIY venue The Basement last night, where locals could request favors of punk band Simeon’s Curse without…
NEW YORK — Freshman Chazz Baldwin utterly ruined a Juilliard dorm party last night with an impromptu, solo oboe rendition of Oasis’ “Wonderwall,” bummed out…
CHULA VISTA, Calif. — Partygoer Todd Horne attempted to engage the rest of the crew moments ago in a round of “Jeff-based shit talk,” despite…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Local punk Niles Torsten displayed the “LOV” and “HAT” tattoos on his gnarled fingers last night while warning partygoers about improper…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 26-year-old data scientist Ricky LeBlanc reportedly impressed party guests last night by opening their beers with the butt end of his…
BOSTON — Local straight edger Austin Evans quietly formed an undying, eternal bond at a party last night with Tugger Q. Bingley, the cat cared…
C’mon, what are you, some kinda’ pussy?! Do this beer bong, bro! Don’t wuss out on me. I invite you to my home, supply you…
PITTSBURGH — Local woman and functional alcoholic Misty Peterson is reportedly in good spirits today, after a week-long hangover stemming from last Saturday night resolved…
CHICAGO — Polite and respectful punk Jimmy Arano “did the right thing” at a house party last weekend by slightly moving a small pile of…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Hedonistic rocker Andrew W.K held a press conference today to address accusations that his stage persona may be a “gimmick,” releasing…
DENVER — Local couple Keith and Laurie Hudson updated their party plans this past weekend when a simple get-together among friends quickly escalated into a…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Dennis Henderson has continually hit “next” in Spotify’s shuffle mode for the last two hours, and has vowed not to stop until…
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Measureworks IT technician Jeff Simmins left dozens of bar patrons perplexed last night after singing “Svefn-g-englar” by Icelandic avant-rock band Sigur…
I’m a good dad, OK? I think it’s important to get that out of the way first. Sure, I used to party when I was…
AMERICA — Parents nationwide went into a frenzy yesterday when a dangerous new party drug swept across their Facebook pages, multiple panicked sources confirmed. The…