I used to be a God-fearing man. A real fire-and-brimstone buff. But my faith in God aged just as poorly as my tattoo of Christian…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Heavy metal outfit Slipknot denied accusations again today that they are a ska band, despite having over a dozen members who…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Korn vocalist Jonathan Davis distressed audiences last night by extending the famous vocal solo of the song “Freak on a Leash” well…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Local bartender Marty Craig allowed himself to enjoy the Limp Bizkit classic “Rollin’” in its entirety last night without a tinge…
Feeling nostalgic for Nu metal? According to our analytics team, you are for some reason! That’s why we told our people to reach out and…
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Feminine care brand Playtex and Ibanez Guitars held a joint press conference today to announce a collaboration for a new model of…
EL PASO, Texas — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke faced increased scrutiny from political adversaries yesterday following accusations alleging he deleted dozens of nü-metal mp3s…
DES MOINES, Iowa — A group of young mystery solvers and their plucky pet dog stripped alternative-metal band Slipknot of their trademark masks last week…
CINCINNATI — 32-year-old claims adjuster Aaron Madson spent the past week listening to classic nü-metal alone in his car “as a joke” for hours before…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — The California Department of Food and Agriculture approved a program yesterday allowing nü-metal scientists to test potential gene manipulation of indigenous KoЯn,…
Back in the early 2000s all my best friends were metalheads. People knew me as the guy who could rank every Metallica album; the guy…
I hate to go on the internet and ask for things, but right now my family could use all the support we can get. If…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Rutgers University sophomore Mike Holloway declared today that he “doesn’t believe in Godsmack,” calling himself a “nü-metal atheist, fighting for truth…
CHICAGO – After decades as giants of the heavy metal genre, the popular band Disturbed entered an immediate, indefinite hiatus following the sudden exit of…
Brian, we need to talk about your wallet chain. We all love and care about you, but this is becoming a problem. These aren’t Linkin…