Steve Packosky
•
DALLAS — Local middle-aged Slayer fan Doug Ulner was immediately prescribed medication to address his presumed high blood pressure upon…
Read More →
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — 43-year-old Van Halen fan Jared “Keyz” Keaton fulfilled his lifelong dream of playing the “Jump” synth intro…
Read More →
Matt Husser
•
SAN JOSE — Local middle-aged guy Tom O’Donnell admitted he exclusively skates the curbs surrounding urgent care parking lots in…
Read More →
Nathan Kamal
•
GLENDALE, Ariz. — Duncan Figeroa, a forty-six father of two, broke a world record earlier today when he said the…
Read More →
Chuck Kowalski
•
NORTH MANCHESTER, Ind. — Middle-aged punk John Miaza recalled today exactly which high school class he was skipping when the…
Read More →
Anthony Kelly
•
LOS ANGELES — 36-year-old skateboarder Rodney Sanders found himself in a great moral predicament yesterday when he sided with irate…
Read More →
Krissy Howard
•
MADRID — Valeria Lopez, the oldest millennial in the world, died late last night at the age of 39 following…
Read More →
Jeff Dunn
•
SEATTLE — Showgoers at the burgeoning house venue Garbage Home were stumped Friday night when a middle-aged man found his…
Read More →
Brett McCabe
•
NEW YORK — A group of middle-aged, financially stable marketers put their differences aside late last night and reunited their…
Read More →
M.J. Amory
•
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Longtime Muse fan Peter Walker finally began his evolution into fandom of legendary prog-rock band Rush just…
Read More →
