Steve Packosky
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DALLAS — Local middle-aged Slayer fan Doug Ulner was immediately prescribed medication to address his presumed high blood pressure upon…
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — 43-year-old Van Halen fan Jared “Keyz” Keaton fulfilled his lifelong dream of playing the “Jump” synth intro…
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Matt Husser
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SAN JOSE — Local middle-aged guy Tom O’Donnell admitted he exclusively skates the curbs surrounding urgent care parking lots in…
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Nathan Kamal
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GLENDALE, Ariz. — Duncan Figeroa, a forty-six father of two, broke a world record earlier today when he said the…
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Chuck Kowalski
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NORTH MANCHESTER, Ind. — Middle-aged punk John Miaza recalled today exactly which high school class he was skipping when the…
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Anthony Kelly
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LOS ANGELES — 36-year-old skateboarder Rodney Sanders found himself in a great moral predicament yesterday when he sided with irate…
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Krissy Howard
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MADRID — Valeria Lopez, the oldest millennial in the world, died late last night at the age of 39 following…
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Jeff Dunn
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SEATTLE — Showgoers at the burgeoning house venue Garbage Home were stumped Friday night when a middle-aged man found his…
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Brett McCabe
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NEW YORK — A group of middle-aged, financially stable marketers put their differences aside late last night and reunited their…
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M.J. Amory
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — Longtime Muse fan Peter Walker finally began his evolution into fandom of legendary prog-rock band Rush just…
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