RALEIGH, N.C. — Local metalhead Damien Walsh is recovering at the Holly Hill Hospital after suffering severe nerve damage in his neck from visualizing himself…
Drummer Expecting Triplets Accidentally Births Two Dotted Eighths, One Eighth Note Instead
LAREDO, Texas — Punk drummer Marcus Flannery shocked the medical and music worlds by giving birth not to triplets as expected, but rather two dotted…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Metalhead Tyler Cobb was the only patron to behave with respect and civility at airport bar Buster’s, while sporting a Cattle Decapitation…
SECAUCUS, N.J. — The newly created Merch Guy Hall of Fame announced its inaugural class of inductees consisting entirely of pretty average looking dudes named…
Nu Metal Marriage Counselor Not About The He Said She Said Bullshit
RENO, Nev. — Couples therapy specialist and nu metal enthusiast Dr. Stephen Hoffman has found it’s best not to take sides in an argument and…
We Sat Down With Body Modification Legend Jesus Christ
Body mods have come a long way. Once a social oddity, it is now common to see piercings and tattoos on people in many walks…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Heavy Metal Archaeologists remain locked in fierce debate over who erected a pyramid of Coors Light cans that was recently excavated from…
Trapt Plays First Show in Front of Audience in Four Years
DAVENPORT, Iowa — Members of controversial nu metal outfit Trapt were reportedly overjoyed to play their first show in front of an audience in four…
Poser Slayer Fan Gets Out Early on Good Behavior
DETROIT — Supposed diehard Slayer fan James Denninger was released from prison this weekend much earlier than expected due to good behavior, confirmed shocked and…
5 Lame Dio Hand Gestures That Didn’t Catch On
In the annals of heavy metal singers, few stood as tall as one Ronnie James Dio. As the frontman for Heaven & Hell, Rainbow and…
Opinion: Pantera Walked So Drowning Pool Could Let the Bodies Hit the Floor
The first time I heard Pantera’s “Walk” I loved it. It was super catchy, and I really dug the message about respect. And they definitely…
Tool Fan Can’t Believe a Genius Like Him Is Working at Hot Topic
BOSTON — Local 39-year-old Tool fan Mark Gibson spent his entire shift last Wednesday angry at the fact that a genius of his magnitude was…
CASPER, Wyo. — Jimmy Santiago, lead guitarist of local extreme metal act Necrosticide, called in his older brother George for assistance nailing a spectacularly difficult…
I’m the Kid Who Shouted “I Wanna Rock”in That Music Video, and I Wish I Had Apologized to My Father Before He Died
Hi. You don’t know me, but you probably know the child I once was. Jumping around in a bedroom. Windmilling on a Stratocaster. Spinning wildly…
Every Member of Band More Invested in a Solo Project
CHICAGO — Every member of local indie rock band The Soviet Reunion is far more artistically, financially and personally invested in their respective solo projects…