LOS ANGELES — Megadeth frontman, and only remaining founding member, Dave Mustaine was shocked to discover he was kicked out of his own band by…
Review: Guns N’ Roses “Use Your Illusion II”
Every Sunday The Hard Times likes to take a trip into its extensive music vault, pick out a classic album, and review it for a…
Review: Corrosion of Conformity “Blind”
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we’re taking a look at Corrosion of Conformity’s…
*TO EDITOR: I’M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH.* The Hard Times: Hey, nice shirt. Name 3 songs. Kendall Jenner: Ok. Off which album? Their…
New Father Suspicious of Wife and Black Metal Neighbor After Baby Born With Corpse Paint
BUFFALO, N.Y. — New father Gareth Desmond began to question his wife’s fidelity after she gave birth to a baby in full corpse paint which…
Power Metal Singer Recognized More for Being Guy Who Serves Turkey Legs at Renaissance Faire Than for Band
STERLING, N.Y. — Local metalhead Johnathan Riccitiello admittedly received more recognition for serving turkey legs at the local Renaissance Faire than for his time in…
Progressive Thrash Band Only Wears Fair Trade White High Top Shoes
MILWAUKEE — Members of local thrash metal band Differentiator recently committed to reduce environmental harm by wearing white high top shoes that are certified fair…
Opinion: Podcasting Is the Lowest Form of Entertainment Now That I Found Out I’m Not Good at It
Back in the day, we had true entertainers. Our musicians didn’t just hit computer buttons. They played real instruments like guitar and learned all four…
Fan of the Most Popular Metal Band in the World Upset Other People Are Listening to Them
CHICAGO — Local metalhead Rust Jenkins expressed his disgust that several people he knows began listening to his favorite underground metal band following the conclusion…
Review: Counterparts “A Eulogy for Those Still Here”
Canadian hardcore band Counterparts are back with a new studio album titled “A Eulogy for Those Still Here” which will be released through Pure Noise…
I’ve been a huge progressive metal fan since the 7th grade when my very confused great aunt bought me Dream Theater’s “Octavarium” instead of the…
God Forbids Amish Metalhead to Be Anything But Drummer
LANCASTER, Pa — Amish musician Zeke Johnson bypassed his religion’s strict restrictions on modern technology by playing drums in his metal band Barn Burners, confirmed…
Merch Guy Folded and Crammed Into Box Until Next Gig
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Howard Ramirez, the longtime merch guy for the metal band Hellspawn, was folded and crammed into a box by members of the…
Guy Wearing Pantera Shirt Can Totally Pull Some Strings and Get You on the Ferris Wheel for Free
CANASTOTA, N.Y — A rough-looking carnival worker sporting a Pantera shirt responsible for running a Ferris wheel made it certain he could give you and…
Umlaut Unnecessary
FRANKENMUTH, Mich. — Local grindcore band Ültimate Castration came under fire for adding a completely unnecessary umlaut over the ‘u’ in its name, an addition…