We’ve all heard it before: guitar is easy to play, difficult to master, especially for chronic masturbators. However, some of the most ass-kicking riffs in…
CRANSTON, R.I. – Elder millennial and lifelong pop punk fan Trent Wilshire relived his early teen years by pleasuring himself to completion with only the…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local house sitter and frequent self gratifier David Baker is currently debating how long into his job he is expected to go…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pervert David Bell could not climax this morning during his daily commute after noticing another bus rider openly nursing her infant, multiple…