Zach Raffio
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ATLANTA — A terrified passenger aboard flight 1894 to Portland expressed slight relief today in noting that the creature on…
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Freelancer
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So you’re feeling a bit under the weather after a recent motorcycle rally. Should you take a Covid test? Why…
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Heather Cook
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NEW YORK — Masked poser Cecilia Munoz was relieved she didn’t have to pretend to know the words at a…
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Kevin Tit
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CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE, Fla. — Cultural Icon and noted serial killer Jason Voorhees was reportedly bullied out of infamous Florida…
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Cory Cousins
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ALTOONA, Pa. — Local metal band, Reluctant Cannibal, announced they will exclusively perform at venues that mandate the donning of…
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V.F. Thompson
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KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local venue Breezy Steve’s Beer Barn now requires attendees to show proof of showering before they enter…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Khadija Hassan
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MINNEAPOLIS — Unvaccinated couple Chris and Hannah Davidson excitedly shared the results of their latest COVID tests at a massive…
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John Hedrick
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NEW YORK — Local venue Splatz Diner got a head start on lifting the mask mandate by declaring masks unnecessary…
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Dom Turek
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ASHEVILLE, S.C. — A frontline food service worker was stripped of her hero and esteemed “essential” status after forgetting to…
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