Tony Morse
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If you’ve been around the block as much as I have, you know you can’t hardly trust anyone about anything.…
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Ben Friedman
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RACINE, Wisc. — Local woman Madison Kemper nearly reached her breaking point with Tinder last night after receiving yet another…
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Steve Esparra
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LOS GATOS, Calif. — The remaining members of the outspoken nü-metal band Trapt are seeking an ill-informed bigot with cursory…
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FREDERICK, Md. — 48-year-old insurrectionist Mark Fleming is still struggling to understand how nobody noticed that he kidnapped Tiffany Trump…
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Ish Gupta
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WASHINGTON — Capitol Police instructed potential rioters today to “just use the same route as last time” in response to…
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Stephen Bell
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PRIDE ROCK — Dozens of hyenas still loyal to Scar attempted and ultimately failed to retake Pride Rock in a…
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Patrick Coyne
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It seems like just yesterday those Trump-loving, dumbass crybaby MAGA bitches were clogging up my Facebook feed with racist propaganda,…
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Kevin Tit
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NEW YORK — A visibly desperate and agitated President Donald Trump loaded his IMI Desert Eagle handgun today and travelled…
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Kevin Tit
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Local Black police officer Dante Jackson was rendered unrecognizable to his coworkers within seconds of removing his…
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Nick Ortolani
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BEND, Ore. — Armed MAGA patriot Kenneth Carter spent several days last week tracking a man over several miles in…
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