Lana Schwartz
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CHICAGO — Local Pavement fan Nathan Matthews added Pavement lyrics to his Tinder profile yesterday, hoping to attract a woman…
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Brendan Kelly
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The Harry Potter series has produced some of the most popular and beloved epic novels and films in history. Likewise,…
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Louie Aronowitz
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OMAHA, Neb. — Frontman/songwriter of folk/punk trio Astor tried to write lyrics as haiku poetry, but kept messing up the…
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Freelancer
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EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of…
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Johnny Mo
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Recording artist Mitski announced today that her merchandise will now be available for sale at mental health…
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CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local death metal enthusiast Cooper Dempsey realized that the lyrics to Cannibal Corpse’s 1994 classic “Fucked With…
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Dan Kozuh
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WESTERVILLE, Ohio — Struggling Democratic contender Beto O'Rourke wrote several popular lyrics by alternative/metal band 311 on the palm of…
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Jordan Breeding
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Dozens of songs were reportedly released between June of 2000 and April of 2007 but thanks to multiple concussions, the…
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DETROIT — Democratic presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke was spotted making last minute preparations for the second debate by referencing old…
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Eric Navarro
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BALTIMORE — Local karaoke enthusiasts were shocked last night to learn that the words to Cosmic Dinosaur’s hit single “Let’s…
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