HOUSTON – A local couple who initially met at a Weezer are reportedly lying to friends and family, by claiming they found each other through…
DARBY, Penn. — Local punk mother Janelle Zander was mortified to discover her son, whom she believed was out partying with friends, was actually diligently…
Hey man, great set the other night! You really knocked ’em dead. I know you’re probably wondering why you didn’t see me out there and…
I know that this is an emergency situation and we here at Sacred Heart Hospital are bound by the Hippocratic Oath to do everything we…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local man and obvious liar, Benjamin Walters, who was recently diagnosed with COVID, claims to have caught at “the gnarliest show” he’d…
KENOSHA, Wis. — Renowned courtroom analyst Dr. John Andersen confirmed that freshly acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse was as proficient as a seasoned cop when it…
SAINT PAUL, Minn. — 37-year-old punk Ronald “Buckets” Drearer grossly exaggerated how much alcohol he regularly consumes in order to seem cooler during a recent…
“The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away.” I have no idea what that statement means, but that’s what the vocalist of my previous band said…
This guy asked me what I do in my free time and I fucked up and told him I really enjoy scenic hikes. I don’t…
Alright shithead, listen up. I put on my little song and dance about how much I like your band’s new single. I gushed about it…
DORAVILLE, Ga. — Local Tinder user Brad Irwin claimed in his dating app bio to keep a minimum six feet between himself and others to…
Self care is important. Nothing is more important to me than my own mental well-being, and I will deploy any tool at my disposal to…
PORTLAND, Maine — Metalcore frontman and obvious liar Zander Dekay claimed at a show last Friday that he “can’t hear the motherfuckers in the back”…
CHICAGO — Comedian and actor Steve Rannazzisi lent condolences to fans of beloved songwriter and visual artist Daniel Johnston, who died late Tuesday night of…
GREEN BAY, Wis. — Local poser Adam Luis-Meyers narrowly reached the end moments ago of a two-hour long conversation about an album he’s never actually…