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Opinion: I Was Definitely at Your Show, but I Was in the Back and Had To Leave Early

Hey man, great set the other night! You really knocked ’em dead. I know you’re probably wondering why you didn’t see me out there and the answer is simple: I was standing in the back and had to leave early.

Yep, that’s right. I was there, but it was probably just hard to see me considering I was all the way at the very back of the bar and the stage lights are pretty bright up there. Also, you didn’t interact with me at the end of your set because I had to leave early on account of working the next morning. I just can’t keep up with that rock and roll lifestyle like you!

Oh your show was Friday night? That’s right! Well… I left early because I was so tired from working early the entire week before. They’re working me so hard I can’t even keep my days straight! But anyway, as I mentioned, I was totally there and I thought your guitar solo on the song I definitely know the name of was killer! I would have told you at the time, but I bolted pretty quickly because ya know… tired and all. Wait, shit.

You play synth in this band. Goddamn it. Well your tone was so wild that it sounded like a guitar and I couldn’t see you very well because, as I’ve said, I was in the back. Also, a really huge dude was standing in front of me the whole time.

Ya know, I’m starting to remember that you might have headlined this one. My bad, I was still there though, but I left early to let my dogs out. I came right back though! And while I intended to be front and center for the entire set, sadly there were just too many people and I had to return to the back, where I was directly behind the aforementioned large man who likely blocked your entire view of me as it did mine of you.

Okay, I’m sensing some friction here. Look, we’re friends, and it’s okay if we disagree. You think I’m full of shit and I wasn’t at your show. In my opinion, I was at the show. We are allowed to have different beliefs! Let’s just agree to disagree and move on.