Ryan Danley
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BIKINI BOTTOM― Longtime cashier Squidward Tentacles is the lead suspect in a mass shooting at the Krusty Krab which left…
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Jerrod Kingery
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AUTOBOT CITY — Heroic Autobot Optimus Prime is currently forbidden from morphing into his truck form and driving on roads…
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John Danek
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GOTHENBURG, Sweden — Melodic death metal guitarist Jens Nyberg tried to use a Boss HM-2 pedal, infamous for its famous…
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In America, police officers kill about 1,100 citizens per year — roughly 30 times that of the next leading nation.…
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Rob Steinberg
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BERKELEY, Calif. — Local house sitter and frequent self gratifier David Baker is currently debating how long into his job…
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Jovian Gautama
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HOBOKEN, N.J. — Local nonbeliever and Bon Jovi fan Tami Clarkson has been mentally cruising through unemployment solely by the…
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Krissy Howard
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AMES, Iowa — Somewhat recently vaccinated woman Teresa Faison entered her third week of using the potential side effects of…
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John Danek
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CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan made some coffee before launching into yet another day of writing 5-star reviews…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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The national debate over minimum wage has raged on in the United States ever since President Biden made it an…
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John Danek
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SAN DIEGO — An acquaintance from high school was wondering today if you’d be interested in a really cool opportunity…
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