LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Superior Court ruled on Monday that all interactions with strangers’ dogs will require at least a minimal introduction to…
Are you ready to feel the effects of aging at a natural rate? Well, get a load of this. This is currently the second financial…
WAUSAU, Wis. — The products for sale at local thrash metal band Hellhund’s merch table reportedly looked more like a garage sale, confirmed sources currently…
TEL AVIV — The Israeli Defense Force defended their lethal bombing of a Gaza Children’s Hospital today by alleging that the kids inside were reincarnated…
TORONTO — Canadian rock band Barenaked Ladies responded to U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs on their country by threatening to release another single, horrified…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local man Mick Lovell attempted to weave the phrase “late-stage capitalism” into casual conversation, hoping it would make his friends respect his…
You may think of us as just piddling music journalists, but we here at the Hard Times are hard-hitting investigative reporters as well. When we…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Corbin Stefanski’s weakening urine stream is severely limiting his ability to clean his toilet, according to several sources familiar with…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump made the decision to replace the country’s highest military decoration for valor in action with the grand prize from ‘90s…
A recent study revealed that only five percent of U.S. adults suffer from a mood disorder, but James Young, a local martyr, claims every single…
GLENS FALLS, N.Y. — A salesman for music gear retailer Sweetwater appeared at the funeral for Richie Andrews, a customer who purchased an overdrive pedal…
SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Noted polyamorous couple Zheff Macguire and Morgy Clementine were spotted frantically rearranging their Funko Pop collection ahead of their visiting third,…
Have you ever witnessed a stranger struggling and ignored them because it wasn’t your business? Whether it’s because of selfishness or just being self-conscious, it’s…
SEATTLE — A casual dinner amongst old friends at The Prissy Duck took a turn Friday night when apparent nouveau riche Luke Moore encouraged everyone…
HOUSTON — Local conservative Kyle Edwards found himself hoping female-centric music festival Lilith Fair is revived so he can complain about it, sources report. “I…