I believe that public safety is important, but between the “Warning: Correctional Facility in Area” signs, the creepy weirdo who told us “This town is…
As Damon Albarn once sang, love is the greatest thing. But there comes a time in any relationship when you have to admit that things…
Hey there, little fellas. Remember me? Creaky Jed who lives in a stump by the abandoned post office? I’ve been watching you and I know…
Spooky season is upon us, and this year The Hard Times has decided to go all in on Halloween content! When I mentioned the lore…
For kids, Halloween is all about candy. For parents, it’s an opportunity to show said children that Mommy and Daddy still have incredibly healthy libidos.…
LOS ANGELES — Handsome super secret agent Angus “Mac” MacGyver easily thwarted a series of overly elaborate and ironic death traps set by famed serial…
Did we just discover a real life Freddy Krueger? This high school janitor from Springwood, Ohio totally got his ass kicked by some teens. Wild!…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Local man Bart Donaghue attempted to break a curse that resulted in Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping” being stuck in his head by getting the…
In recent years, our cultural landscape has gained a newfound focus on accountability, and I fully support that shift. Seeing people in power held responsible…
“The Shining” is, simply put, one of the greatest horror films ever made. Hell, it’s one of the greatest films ever made, period! But what…
HADDONFIELD, Ill. — Serial killer and supernatural force of pure evil Michael Myers insists upon wearing three layers of face masks even after receiving the…
The conversation surrounding what should be done about gun violence in America has become more exhausting than ever; with each shooting, a nationwide argument ensues…
MAPLE GROVE, Minn. — The titular star of the Leprechaun series of films has reportedly been assuring his family that the developers of Mortal Kombat…
METRO KINGDOM — Local adventurer Mario Mario is allegedly trapped inside an unsettling painting by modern artist H.R. Giger after having jumped 12-feet into the…
Hey kids, it’s your old pal, Freddy! No, not that molest-y 2010 reboot crap, I’m talking O.G Fred Man. That’s right bitch, Freddy’s back! It’s…