While everyone remembers the day the ‘90s died (September 11th, 2001), very few remember the day the ‘80s died, December 27th, 2020. On top of…
When will Americans finally learn to head that old maxim “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Recently the woman formerly known as Rachel Dolezal…
To any and all Hollywood butt-chuggets that might be reading this: Hi. You probably don’t know me. I didn’t go to AFI, I’ve never won…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Invisible Gravity Cannabis Dispensary recently announced it will host throwback night where patrons can relive the days of splitting a fat…
NEW YORK — Frontman of award-winning Heavy Metal band Xanstärr, Joey Blakkburn, says that he and the rest of the band hope to land a…
As has already been established in this very publication, Cattle Decapitation is the furiously-misanthropic, environmentally-conscious, and stunningly-virtuosic tech-death/grindcore band of choice for the cultured, discriminating…
Is there anything more boring than a funeral? You might as well get shitfaced while respectfully expressing your condolences. Thanks to your shitty genes, family…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A mass shooting that left one dead and at least 30 others injured at the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl Parade,…
The other day, I was watching some documentary while waiting for a video game to download, and I heard a guy say something like, “Jazz…
Newburgh, N.Y. — Kirsten Emery, guitarist in local punk band Feral Insurgence and vocal critic of Valentine’s Day, curiously embraced the “sham” holiday now that…
Formed in 1992 during grunge’s height between Soundgarden’s “Nevermind” and Pearl Jam’s “In Utero,” Chicago, Illinois’ darlings known as Veruca Salt, named after an annoying…
Fellas, your secret carnage castle near the coast is drab and SCREAMS, “My wife decorates our nondescript house in the suburbs because I’m trying to…
For most of my life, I was never in the camp that believed my life was predetermined by an all-powerful celestial deity capable of smiting…
The pandemic was rough, but we came out of it with two positive things: A renewed appreciation for bingeable classic television, and a willingness to…
So you hit up the Taco Bell Cantina happy hour with some co-workers, slammed spicy margs till last call, were forcibly removed from the premises,…