Edgar Towner
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First things first: this is bullshit. Don’t come at me with your judgmental assumptions. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m…
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Carson Soukup
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DENVER — Local man Chris Wyatt’s first bowel movement at his new office job was completed without incident, the relieved…
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Taylor Roebuck
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FLINT, Mich. — Local pit bull James Earl Bones rescued a crust punk yesterday from a no-kill shelter despite the…
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KC Phillips
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GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local DIY punk veterans the Splatz, who have been doing-it-themselves for nearly two years, now wish somebody…
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Kyle Erf
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SEATTLE — The dismal sales of a T-shirt featuring an amazing design were blamed on the inclusion of the band…
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John Danek
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AUSTIN, Texas — All-around nice guy Ken Ludlow has reportedly found himself in another long-term relationship with a woman despite…
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Randy LoBasso
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CLEVELAND — Scene veteran and new father Darnell Tyler set out this week to prove his critics wrong by showing…
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Nicholai Roscoe
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WASHINGTON — A report released today by a government efficiency watchdog group offered conclusive proof of “absolutely no collusion” between…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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NEW YORK — The Rabinowitzes, a family of New York hardcore Jews, have already finished their Hanukkah celebration this year,…
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Contributor
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PLYMOUTH, Mass. — Local parent Marsha Douglas still isn’t sure exactly what foods family friend and vegan Carolyn Hansen will…
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