WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local black metal band Decapitated Forest tactfully asked recently widowed Jolene Watkins Thursday evening if they could film their upcoming music video…
LAS VEGAS — Working class punk Doug Owen stormed out of Boland Lanes immediately after throwing a strike, according to witnesses unclear if he would…
CHESTERBROOK, Pa. — Local suburbanite Tristan McNamara grew frustrated with his new Amazon Echo when it failed to recognize a niche band request, but announced…
ST. LOUIS — Your self-described friend and all-around buzz kill Stevie Fuchas graciously informed you that the young woman who engaged in unprompted flirtation with you…
LOS ANGELES — Warner Brothers announced a new addition to the DC Extended Universe this morning, following the successes of Man of Steel and Batman…
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — New reports reveal disturbing details about the non-severity of local sober punk Kevin Tartare’s past relationship with alcohol, causing much disillusion with…
PARIS, Texas — The Goths of the Hot Topic Empire took over a Sbarro restaurant early this morning, continuing their devastating campaign in the War…
GREENSBORO, N.C. — After almost two years together, a local couple is grossly overestimating the impact their breakup will have on their circle of friends,…
BALDWIN, N.Y. — Local man David Taubes worried he’d somehow pissed off Henry Rollins earlier today after searching for the aging singer’s image online and…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local student Hollis Wheaton gave a groundbreaking lecture last night on American race relations while holding the top spot in a game…
PHILADELPHIA — A recent appraisal of soon-to-be-closed bar and venue Jasmine’s Lounge attributed nearly all of the dilapidated building’s value to the collection of stickers…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — The body odors of local DIY soapmaker Joseph Silvercat have become unbearably disruptive to those sharing his apartment, according to sources within…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski is exhibiting “incredibly dark, morose, and in no way different” behavior than prior to a recent breakup with…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Producer Rob Stone escalated an ongoing battle with easycore outfit The Stripey Lords last weekend when he declared the band could not…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Members of the left-leaning shoegaze outfit The Soft White Damn announced via Facebook earlier today their bold decision to record a new…