EVANSTON, Ill. — Local man Ryan Michaelson began a new ritual last October, placing $7 in his fridge each time he gets up for a…
ERIE, Pa. — Self-proclaimed grindcore aficionado Eduard Riva has vanished from the internet in recent months, as Facebook’s content flagging protocols continue to catch and…
MORGANTOWN, W.V. — A new study conducted by researchers at West Virginia University found that toddler nose theft has dropped by 85% in the U.S.…
NEW YORK — Local punk Brandon Hall listed the friend’s couch he’s been crashing on as available for rent in the sublets/temporary category on Craigslist…
CHICAGO — Local data analyst Jeanie Alvarez joined his coworker for a ride in her car last week, leaving him with an unexpected, everlasting feeling…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man and stunningly handsome bassist for local indie band Onion Powder, Trevor Anderson, must be absolutely terrible at singing per his non-frontman…
LOS ANGELES — A years-long study by scientists at UCLA has proved once and for all that drinking eight glasses of water a day is…
WASHINGTON — Jerkhole bassist Alex Miller finally overcame his anxiety yesterday to ask why his bass guitar includes two extra strings, amused bandmates confirmed. “I’ve…
LOS ANGELES — 40-year-old IT worker Shane Bryce realized yesterday that he can’t imagine a time in his life where reading an entire book would…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local punk Adam Schultz is beginning to regret using one of his three wishes to bring infamous singer GG Allin back to…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local bad boy who has never done anything wrong in his life Patrick Webb swore again today to all his friends and…
CINCINNATI — Sidney Frogus, the longtime merch guy for the band HorseBird, was demoted earlier this week to being the band’s bassist after his latest…
DALLAS — Laid off mall security guard and avid Pantera fan Jamie Gunderson has essentially torn his apartment down to the studs with his fists…
ATLANTA — Stay-at-home mother Mary Benson wishes that her husband, Atlanta Sheriff Rick Benson, believed her explanations of the goings-on in their home as much…
LOS ANGELES — Local couple Debbie Yolander and Brian Guyson sustained mild concussions yesterday after guests at their Weezer-themed gender reveal party hurled copies of…