Steve Packosky
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Goddamnit. Our newest employee, Jake, completely assured us that he could manage our calendar without any slipups, and our stupid…
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Ben Friedman
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ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Scene legend known only as “Kowalski” has informed multiple local bars and government entities that the…
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Members of fledgling hardcore band Horse Hockey Massacre conceded the fact their set should’ve ended, like,…
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Bobby Korec
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SEATTLE — Overambitious elder millennial Janine Angler was released from the hospital yesterday and is expected to make a full…
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Josh Klasco
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OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local straight edge 22-year-old Niki Mishtia once again proved that he is perfectly capable of acting like…
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Dan Luberto
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PHILADELPHIA — A local hardcore crew embarrassed themselves publicly after posting an incredibly weak crew pic, their first since COVID…
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SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Torn Down frontman Benny Lawrence attempted to write lyrics tackling some of society’s most pressing issues, but…
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