CHARLESTON, S.C. — Local gym rat and self-proclaimed doomsday prepper Brock Crocker is really hoping that the next new world order will be rowing-centric, multiple…
A few months back I got laid off from the steel mill after drunk driving an overhead crane, so money has been a little tight.…
EUGENE, Ore. — Arthur “Sweaty” Grant, a punk physical education teacher at Churchill High School, expressed that incoming freshman student Jaime Peron has what it…
NEW YORK — Local punk Nick Frayson once again skipped an entire week’s worth of targeted workout routines totaling his entire body despite setting a…
Normally the gym is a place for quiet contemplation and self-improvement, but this time I left utterly confused. This enormous lunk across from me is…
After years of destroying my body with alcohol and Mcdonald’s, I’ve finally got myself back into a routine of healthy eating and exercise. I even…
Mr. Rollins, we’ve been over this. Twice. For the last time, it is against gym policy to do anything but lift in the squat rack.…
PHOENIX, AZ – Local bassist Winston Crowe of punk band Sloppyfoot hit the gym to begin a new head nod training regimen which he hopes…
The kettlebell is having a real moment right now, and for once you can believe the hype! A kettlebell’s unique shape makes it a far…
The term “toxic masculinity” gets tossed around pretty casually these days but, for good reason. We are living in a society where men have to…
WHEATON, Md. — The local branch of the BodySmith Fitness franchise is refusing to terminate your gym membership until you have zero dollars remaining in…
CHICAGO — PUSHback frontman Chris Sheppard is now completely unrecognizable to his close friends and peers after not having gone to the gym throughout the…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local gym rat Paul Deetz started his workout today with a full seven minutes of rest while the first track in…
HACKENSACK, N.J. — A new report from the Brookings Institute has found that nationwide gym closures due to the coronavirus have left the nation’s weird,…
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Lifelong nerd Nate Guajardo emerged from a local Planet Fitness facility today “beefed out as fuck” after being trapped inside the gym…