SPRINGFIELD, Ore. — The First Baptist Church graciously agreed to host “Springfield Thrash Fest 3: Fuck This Town to Death” yesterday after striking a rental…
DOG HEAVEN — Several dogs awaiting entry into the big, grassy field in the sky are being forced to wait patiently until Dog St. Peter…
EDEN — God, the almighty, omnipresent being responsible for the creation of life itself, finally confirmed that he removed Adam’s rib primarily so Adam could…
ATLANTA — Having lost his previous gaming PC to a flood, Ned Myers has constructed a much bigger and more powerful build, reportedly reaching all…
HEAVEN — Succumbing to public outcry after the shocking discovery of an Old Testament written by Himself, God, the Father Almighty creator of Heaven and…
Hey God. It’s me. Again. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked but I need your help. Lately, a lot of people have…
BOSTON — Tufts University philosophy student Colin Hendricks was amused to learn yesterday that recovering addict and “fucking brainless sheep” Gretchen Matherson celebrated six months…
Ever wonder what happened to your God? It seemed like he was EVERYWHERE in ’80s and ’90s, but today, as you watch me replace the…
STROUDSBURG, Penn. — Heavenly father of all creation God recently rained His anger down upon a group of arrogant GameStop employees who tried to build…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local women found conclusive evidence that God doesn’t know what they want, sources confirm, based on the existence of Chad Tuckers, the…
MUNCIE, Ind. — For the second straight year, the Unitarian Universalist Church of Muncie is not only the “sickest all-ages hardcore venue in the city,”…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Rutgers University sophomore Mike Holloway declared today that he “doesn’t believe in Godsmack,” calling himself a “nü-metal atheist, fighting for truth…
HEAVEN – Following the untimely death of David Bowie, God, the almighty, all-knowing deity and Creator of Heaven and Earth, has announced the final lineup…
Most people think that crust punks are dangerous creatures. Their abrasive looks often come across as threatening to people. Truth is they are rather passive…