RAHWAY, N.J. — Local punk Matt Gerricks shared this week that, despite his commitment to the punk genre and lifestyle, he does like that one…
Man, you guys are great. Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I had such a great — oh look, an owl — time. You…
MILWAUKEE — Delusional local man Rick Crawford is convinced coworker Mary Schneider’s barely-concealed hostility toward him is all part of an elaborate inside joke between…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Avid sneakerhead Jeremy ‘Choice Kicks’ Santini reportedly died inside when first time homeowner Michael Beatty instructed all party guests to remove their…
THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. — Local high school freshman Mason Daniels was forced to become a member of his local punk community after a self-administered haircut…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A friend whom you haven’t spoken to, texted, or shared an Instagram exchange with in the past 15 months put you…
SEATTLE — Local homebody Jenny Wellmeyer experienced generalized anxiety due to the overwhelming pressure to go do something outside while the weather was absolutely gorgeous,…
PITTSBURGH — Local woman Stephanie Commita’s relationship of seven years is reportedly “teetering on the brink of complete collapse” following a recent amateur tarot card…
Let’s be honest, making new friends after the age of 22 is nearly impossible. I would know. I haven’t made a single new one since…
“Nice place?” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I live in a one-bedroom basement apartment with minimal natural light, you condescending asshole. Who…
PHILADELPHIA – Local friend and owner of a comfortable and reliable five-seat sedan, Victor Schnellenberger, is planning to quit drinking alcohol and begin a long…
MEDFORD, Ore. — A sleepover between longtime friends Billy Potter and Sam Cortland turned sour after the former discovered his best friend’s house smells weird,…
NBC’s “Friends” remains one of the most successful sitcoms in television history, breaking ratings records throughout its run and maintaining a “hot commodity” status on…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local house sitter and frequent self gratifier David Baker is currently debating how long into his job he is expected to go…
SEATTLE — Bill and Melinda Gates assured friends, family, and fans that they fully intend to continue working with their foundation, as well as working…