Collin Canning
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PORTLAND, Maine — Portland Police Department Officer Grace Hutchinson somehow fully believes that people have only recently started tampering with…
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Patrick Crooks
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MARIPOSA, Calif. — A camping trip almost turned tragic last week as militant vegan Sage Hellier nearly died when poisonous…
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Andy Holt
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CARY, N.C. — Building on their catalogue of exclusive video games, the Epic Games store announced a multi-billion dollar deal…
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Salim Alam
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MINNEAPOLIS — Local cop and bland-tasted white guy Cody Anderson admitted earlier today that, despite his general aversion to any…
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SYOSSET, N.Y. — Self-described otaku Eric Campbell admitted recently that he only watches anime for their delicious depictions of food,…
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Lauren Lavin
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A grocery store cashier and shopper wordlessly agreed moments ago to re-negotiate an overcharge on bulk beans…
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Mike Civins
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MIAMI — Restaurant chain Benihana will offer a full hibachi dining experience, including its trademark onion volcanoes, to customers parked…
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Chris Nakis
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When an algorithm recommended we review 50 frozen pizzas after analyzing a cross-section of our audience, we thought we hit…
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Rose Vineshank
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BALTIMORE — Local frontman Dave Kuenen of hardcore band Hammer & Nail is under scrutiny today for allegedly cheating on…
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Jordan Breeding
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The planet is dying, ya'll. If we don’t act soon even the sickest venues will be entirely underwater and/or perpetually…
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