Doug Kolic
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December 18, 2024
PALM BEACH, Fla. — The recently reelected Donald Trump announced that he was most excited to return to the White…
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Tom Peters
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August 30, 2022
SUNNYSIDE, N.Y. — 37-year-old former punk Colson Rankford reportedly retired his favorite medium-sized band T-shirt citing newfound maturity and downplaying…
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Yancy Lee Crawford
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December 28, 2021
INDIANAPOLIS – A small but visibly-confused group of free thinkers stormed the HI-FI Annex stage to incoherently question the connection…
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Dan Kozuh
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November 22, 2021
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Forty-two-year-old heavy metal fanatic Jason Higgins shocked bar patrons earlier this week by ordering a Jack Daniel’s…
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Nathan Kamal
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November 6, 2021
SEATTLE — Local man James Tebuto is losing confidence in himself halfway through what he’s realizing is an overwhelming order…
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Dan Kozuh
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August 24, 2021
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Heavy Metal Archaeologists remain locked in fierce debate over who erected a pyramid of Coors Light cans…
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John Danek
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June 12, 2021
DALLAS — Rhythm guitarist and craft beer connoisseur Kirk Tenly reportedly hasn’t seen his own pedalboard since the late 2000s…
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Anna Walsh
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October 31, 2020
HOUSTON — Locked-down towns across America are seeing record levels of citizens dressing up as famed frontman Glenn Danzig following…
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Jessica Carreiro
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September 7, 2020
SEATTLE — UX designer Erin Philips shocked her colleagues today at her advertising firm CreateJoy when she elevated her standing…
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Patrick Crooks
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August 1, 2020
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — A burrito purchased at a local 7-11 today was beyond repulsed by the disgusting schlub…
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