Dan Kozuh
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April 21, 2021
Everyone knows it's hard being a teen. Between school and acne, being a teenager in America is almost as hard…
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James Knapp
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April 10, 2021
We are in an era of unprecedented musical creativity. From trap-metal to sad boi country, genres have been mixed and…
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Ted Pillow
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March 16, 2021
Emo kids, unite! Old school emos only. So if you were there from the start, come on and pull on…
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John Danek
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January 9, 2021
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Smith & Smith Real Estate property photographer Joshua Abernathy regularly receives workplace criticism for his unhelpful…
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Clara Endres
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December 22, 2020
PHILADELPHIA — Highly influential emo band Crowquill reportedly split today after producing just 30 minutes of recorded music and playing…
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Nariko Ott
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December 17, 2020
LOS ANGELES — 35-year-old self-described “Dashboard Confessional superfan” David Calva awoke today to find his male-pattern baldness went into overdrive,…
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Ryan Danley
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December 7, 2020
DENVER — Local 39-year-old Justin Shaffer is struggling to describe his favorite band without using the often-maligned word “emo” to…
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James Knapp
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October 20, 2020
CHICAGO — Veteran emo-punk band Alkaline Trio has returned to the studio to brainstorm vaguely gothic puns to title their…
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John Danek
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August 23, 2020
WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden purchased a Fender Jazzmaster and green Line 6 DL4 delay pedal yesterday…
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J.W. White
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May 29, 2020
Sup’ corona-crotches! So you’re stuck in your house and you can’t go anywhere. You’ve been cooped up so long now…
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