Chris Bowen
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TORONTO — Family and friends of local man Neil Dupont are growing increasingly concerned for his health after showing signs…
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Claire Alexander
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HOBOKEN, N.J. – WWE fan and local embarrassment, Connor Duncan, reportedly made preparations to save his liver during WrestleMania this…
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Jennifer Donovan
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NEW YORK — Local woman Pam Carter was reportedly so amped up from another raucous International Women’s Day that she…
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Joe Rumrill
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WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — A previously too-cool-for-school music snob is reportedly just inebriated enough to loudly appreciate AC/DC’s “You Shook…
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Tim Sheard
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Is there anything more boring than a funeral? You might as well get shitfaced while respectfully expressing your condolences. Thanks…
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Jordan Liffengren
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SEATTLE, Wash. — Newly sober punk Dustin Patterson swore off alcohol after he experienced his first-ever bowel movement with a…
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James Knapp
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HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard…
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Robert John Scucci
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They say that home is where you make it, and when I found out that my favorite hometown watering hole…
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Nathan Kamal
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EUGENE, Ore. — Leo Radler, a bartender at local pub The Swampland, is completely unaware that many of the regular…
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Daniel Freborg
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BOSTON – Local beer lover Ryan Kensington fleetingly experienced a sobering thought while in the midst of a bout of…
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