OTTAWA — A recent study revealed that over 11 million Canadians, or roughly 30% of the country’s population, have Broken Social Scene DNA. “We discovered…
PONTIAC, Mich. — Local punk Vince Vanderberg was shocked when the results of a DNA ancestry kit revealed he had goth roots via the mother’s…
PHILADELPHIA — Local Irish-themed punk rock band The Drunken Fighting Lads are being suspiciously protective of the ethnic background results they received in a recent…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in amber, sources sick of hearing…
KYOTO, Japan — After suffering a string of damaging data breaches and leaked trade secrets such as hardware specs and console operating system code, Nintendo announced…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Wes Borland, the assumed longtime guitarist of nü-metal band Limp Bizkit, was found to be a member of Mudvayne last week thanks…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local punk Steven Marsh botched his 23andMe test late last week after inexplicably vomiting into the DNA collection tube, a confused and…