BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Homebrew beer connoisseur Ira Rose succeeded again last week in ranking all local homebrews he tasted from worst to somehow even worse,…
So you think you’re a punk because you’ve read The Anarchist Cookbook? Get a grip, losers, that’s basically required reading for any respectable middle school…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — Fans attending a punk show at the Screaming Lizard last night encountered a solitary male whose arms appeared to be permanently crossed…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pet owner Dylan Murphy could not find a suitable adoptive home for his beloved pet cockatoo last week, despite incessantly screaming “FREE…
AUGUSTA, Maine — Local drummer Dicky Carter only needs to borrow a kick drum, snare drum, a stool, and one stick from the other bands…
DENVER — Everyone at the Death Head show last night definitely noticed you were there all by yourself, and it was “pretty fucking pathetic,” according…
You’re creative, fun, a little quirky, so why spend money to have a stupid “trained professional” cut your hair? DIY haircuts are all the rage…
PITTSBURGH — Attendees and residents at the local DIY house venue known as the Crumb Dumpster were informed last week that the property does not…
HOUSTON — The Hungering Lamps played to a sparse crowd of eight ticket resellers at the Lone Star Theatre last night, an experience audience members…
NEW ORLEANS — Local punk trio Bird with Teeth was forced off of a show they’d booked after a Brooklyn-based band was added to the…
Let’s get something straight, you fucking posers. I’m not some goddamn weekend warrior; I’m in this for the long haul. I actually give a shit…
BROOKLYN — Post-punk band T.F.U. has listed the empty space in front of the stage for rent on Craigslist as a summer sublet, following several…
CLEVELAND — Local music store employee Sammy Howard takes every opportunity to inform customers that his band was “this fuckin’ close to making it huge,”…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk band Eleanor Rugby are now able to perform spin attacks and wear upgraded armor following a show in which they were…














