Charles Bill
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April 25, 2026
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Leading musical anthropologists announced that they have discovered a previously uncontacted metal genre, confirmed sources. “I was…
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Corey Montgomery
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January 7, 2024
Another year has begun, just like the year before it, and sadly, the year before that one. While many take…
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Jay Shingle
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April 15, 2021
PORTLAND, Ore. — Members of notorious local punk house “Dish Pitt” finally found disappeared roommate Jon “Scuzzy” Baker last week…
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Doug Francisco
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January 14, 2021
SAN FRANCISCO — The hosts of the Discovery Channel show “Mythbusters” reunited yesterday to test the myth that a man…
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John Dixon
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November 18, 2020
MILWAUKEE — Local man Jeremy Grimm’s sudden infatuation with a newly discovered band was put on hold today pending the…
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Freelancer
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November 16, 2019
PRIPYAT, Ukraine — Officials at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant discovered yesterday a fourth HAIM sister buried beneath a previously…
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Mark Roebuck
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December 14, 2018
BHIMBETKA, Bhopal — The discovery earlier this week of primitive drawings left on walls by Neanderthals confirmed one of science’s…
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WORCESTER, Mass. — A grant application submitted by the University of Massachusetts Medical School for “the expressed intent of further…
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David Britton
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June 26, 2018
SALINAS, Calif. — Former Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar has discovered a theoretical, second way to rock, following years of…
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Grant Stiles
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February 25, 2018
MARRAKESH, Morocco — An archaeological discovery made outside of Marrakesh yesterday places the extinction of punk rock at roughly 8,000…
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