Depression is brutal. Many of us try to fight it by exercising, meditating, or even going to extreme measures like eating a vegetable. But as…
PHOENIX — Local punk and licensed therapist Dr. Tim “Roach” Rochestky, LPCC, suggested that a patient kick his square fuckhead of a dad off his…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Trevor Good blamed his morning coffee habit for the constant nervous chatter in his head and anxious feeling in…
First of all, I just want to say to all my friends and family, thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it but I’m…
For most Americans, including myself, this Winter was pretty freaking bleak. Between the short, cold days, the surging pandemic, and a lack of stable employment,…
ST. LOUIS — Local man who is living with functional depression, Dan Sousa, surprised exactly no one after it was learned that he can’t even…
There comes a time in a man’s life in which he starts to wonder if he can ever truly be happy. No matter how much…
Of the 178 reality shows MTV released between 2002-2005, none of them quite popularized using a blacklight to look for semen on bed sheets like…
Sick Phoebe Bridgers tat ya got there. Is that her whole face covering your entire torso? Cool, cool. You must be a real fan then,…
Dude, sick! Local reports are coming in that this bro Darren Serling got diagnosed with depression, which is super bogus, but get this! Our fact-checker…
Just as music fans argue about genre classifications, foodies debate cuisines. And there is no cuisine more abstract than that which goes by the name…
So, here you are. Sitting in a dive bar in some town in Wisconsin. You just ordered your second round of deep-fried cheese curds. You’re…
ANKENY, Iowa — Unemployed and recently single roguelike enthusiast Daryl Cain says that he feels a strong connection to the genre, because he also starts…
It’s not every day you get to interview a pair of infamous social media influencers. Recently, we sat down with the iconic and massively influential…
Internet Can’t Fucking Wait to Push Newly Famous Artist to Psychological Ruin
SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous musician Hank Todd past the…