Navigating the line between being a “#girlboss” and being a “regular human being who is there for the people in your life” can be difficult, but if you couldn’t handle difficult situations you wouldn’t be a #girlboss in the first place!
Here’s a few tips and tricks for letting a friend grappling with a recent loss know that you support them, without loosing your carefully curated image as a ruthless winner who is not to be fucked with.
Make your friend feel heard, but not too heard
When someone experiences trauma the most important thing you can do for them is just be there and listen. You want to let your bereaved loved one know that you hear them and support them. But you also want them to know your time is money.
Don’t be afraid to interrupt your friend to answer a few quick work emails, even if your friend is crying uncontrollably and you don’t really have emails to respond to. It’s all about image and the image you want is “I’m not afraid to take charge!”
Pepper in the fact that you’re an A-type every 30 seconds or so
It’s important to be there for people you care about in their time of need, but it’s also important that you are perceived as an alpha. This can best be accomplished by repeating it ad nauseam. Here’s an example:
Friend: “I just can’t believe my mom is gone. I feel lost, aimless, like there’s no reason to get out of bed.”
You, a #girlboss: “As an A-type I really cannot relate to that feeling, but go on.”
Treat them to lunch, but make sure yours is better
If they get the shrimp, get the steak. If they get the steak, get the lobster. This subtle move will cause your mourning friend to subconsciously take you more seriously as an executive.
Don’t be afraid to delegate a few tasks
The grieving process is no excuse for a sink full of dirty dishes. You don’t want to be overly forceful in this situation, but there is nothing wrong with requesting that your crying and depressed friend bang them out whenever they get the chance. Just remember to use the right tone of voice to indicate that they better “get the chance” pretty damned quick.
Subtly remind them there are a lot of qualified people out there who would kill to be your friend that can handle this whole “grief” thing
Your friend may need a not so subtle reminder that you would hate for this thing to not work out, but you will do what is necessary to serve your best interests. You’re a #girlboss, not a guidance counselor. Offer them a few days to rethink their role in your friend circle and decide if they still want to move forward. Otherwise, they’re just taking up someone else’s spot.