MINNEAPOLIS — Members of the Minneapolis Police Department disbanded yesterday to focus on their individual violent side projects, citing creative differences within the force and…
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Joseph Calbroni resorted to imagining all of the protestors he is beating the shit out of are his wife in…
Sometimes it takes an extraordinary event to make you see what you’ve been taking for granted. I think we can all agree that the COVID-19…
EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of divorce papers devolved into outright…
HOMER, Ala. — The emotional affair between English teacher Lara Palledorous and her co-worker Allessandro Reyes resulted in a sweaty, purely physical and entirely literal…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Punk bassist Becca Roberts defended her decision today to use a plectrum for the clitoral stimulation of her girlfriend, despite pressure…
You’re probably wondering why I’m fishing out on the floor foaming at the mouth and ranting in tongues. I assure you, everything is fine. Today…
INDIANAPOLIS — Recent college graduate Mark Robinson had a job interview yesterday he thought “went pretty well,” despite his inability to determine whether or not…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Following years of research and development, the average vegan ass is approaching a similar taste and texture to that of carnivores’ due…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Linda Schulte, mother for 34 years and recent smartphone owner, announced in a Facebook post today that “Too Much Sudoku,” a free-to-play…
LOS ANGELES — Film Studies student Aidan Peterson rescued a night of intimacy using a decades-old video game cheat code, report sources on the other…
HOBOKEN, N.J. — PC gamer Grayson Cotter believes an issue with the keycaps of a top-of-the-line mechanical gaming keyboard he has posted to online marketplaces…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Earlier this week, the National Rifle Association (NRA) filed a lawsuit against PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds creator Bluehole Studios for limiting the number of…
REDMOND, Wash. — In a Nintendo Direct presentation today, Nintendo of America COO Reggie Fils-Aime revealed Nintendo’s upcoming plans to fully develop, promote, and cancel three…
KENOSHA, Wis. — Kelsey Soto and Daniel Port will not be reuniting for Riot Fest 2017, despite the rumors swirling throughout the Kenosha hardcore community,…