BALTIMORE — Surgeons at Johns Hopkins Medical Center recently performed the first successful procedure to physiologically affix classic rock fan Denny Clainsborough’s girlfriend, Jill, atop…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a dinner party hosted by Jon and James Adler were ignorant that the couple had engaged in a raw, depraved…
VAN NUYS, Calif. — Local nursing student Jade Ng divulged to close friends at a bar yesterday her plans to “fix” her Hinge match, local…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local woman Alicia Beacon discovered a major red flag during her first date with Tony Delough in his overwhelmingly vocal distaste for…
CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a lot more action if he…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with close friend Collin Montrose due…
CHICAGO — Local boyfriend who’s changed, he swears, Britt Keller promised on again-off again girlfriend Carolyn Mueller that he will do as little as humanly…
The past decade has not been kind to the pickup artist community. Ever since PUAs entered the mainstream, the media has described our methods as…
FOREST PARK, Ill. — Local woman in her mid-30s Laura McMann was carded again late yesterday evening when attempting to buy alcohol after her hormonal…
HOMESTEAD, Iowa — 32-year-old big city girl Vikki Rue reluctantly entered an intense but brief romance with local inn-keeper Ian Bridges that immediately ended once…
Meeting a new romantic partner is technically easier than ever, but weeding through dating apps is enough to make dying alone feel like a viable…
CHICAGO — Local man Wesley Farkas is worried that a recent proposal to enter into a lifetime commitment with girlfriend Rebecca Bender sent the wrong…
I woke up this morning annoyed at all the noise my boyfriend Josh was making. He burst through the door with a new MacBook, a…
So, you’re on a date with a band dude you met at a show. Nice! Well, almost. See, you’re trying to have a romantic night…