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Man Just Playing Hard to Get Rid Of

WALNUT CREEK, Calif. — Local 27-year-old woman Emily Sinclair continued to be contacted by a former Hinge match in whom she was no longer interested, her loosely invested roommates confirmed.

“I met Chris on an app last month and we met up for coffee. He seemed nice and interesting enough so I agreed to go on a second date, but after that I decided we probably weren’t a good match,” said Sinclair. “That was three weeks ago… and Chris is still texting me. I would feel bad ghosting, but at this point I don’t know how else to get rid of him. You’d think with how long I take to text back unenthusiastic one-word responses, he’d have gotten the hint by now, but he just keeps sending things like, ‘Hope you had a great day!’ and ‘I have two VIP tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys next weekend, would you like to go?’”

Chris Farinelli, seemingly undeterred by Emily’s short, delayed text replies, didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Emily seems great and I’m hoping to get to know her better by liking and commenting on all of her Instagram posts,” said Farinelli. “Her schedule is really busy right now, but I’ve been texting her every couple of hours so she knows I’m still interested. Because if you like someone you should let them know as much as humanly possible. Hopefully I can take her to dinner soon on a night when she doesn’t have to stay at the office until 11:00 p.m. and her dog isn’t sick.”

Relationships expert April Bauer affirmed that while clear communication is important, it’s not always straightforward.

“The widespread use of dating apps has made modern relationship dynamics considerably more complicated,” said Bauer. “I always advocate for communicating honestly instead of ghosting the person you’ve lost interest in. But also like, have you ever had someone text you, ‘sorry I’m just not attracted to you and don’t see this going anywhere’? That just sounds harsh. Maybe ghosting isn’t so bad.”

At press time, Sinclair reportedly had not heard from Farinelli in two weeks and suddenly found him extremely attractive.