NEW YORK — Local crust punk Phil “Rat Face” Howland took creative measures last week to turn his uneven beard…
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I don’t understand how I got burned like this! I put everything I had into this cult so I could…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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April 11, 2018
DALLAS — Ricardo “the Scuzz” Garza tripled his net worth last night when he found a half of a pack…
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Claire Brown
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March 27, 2018
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local crust punk Johnny “Eight Fingers” Arnold awoke late Saturday afternoon to discover he had accidentally…
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Chuck Kowalski
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February 27, 2018
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign…
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Ashley Naftule
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February 11, 2018
TACOMA, Wash. — The residents of the “Scab Lab” crust punk house were evacuated last night in response to an…
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Dan Kozuh
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February 5, 2018
NEW YORK — Vagabond crust punk Sheri “Tick Bite” Rowland was spotted outside of the Bowery Whole Foods store begging…
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Taylor Roebuck
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December 18, 2017
FLINT, Mich. — Local pit bull James Earl Bones rescued a crust punk yesterday from a no-kill shelter despite the…
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Max Wolff
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December 1, 2017
RICHMOND, Va. — Local crust-punk Richard Andre married his roommate Morgan Atwell yesterday in a romantic ceremony in which he…
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Cory Cousins
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September 22, 2017
HOUSTON — Local crust punk Shiloh Waters is still feverishly searching for a potential sitter for his beloved bedbugs while…
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