GARY, Ind. — Local jam band Welcome Back Emmett Otter increasingly wishes that someone in the audience of The Jackawolf would tell them when the…
RAHWAY, N.J. — Local punk Matt Gerricks shared this week that, despite his commitment to the punk genre and lifestyle, he does like that one…
HARRISONBURG, Va. — Lifelong fan of outlaw country music Chris Harper is also a fervent supporter of law enforcement in all its forms, going as…
Fellow citizens, let me ask you a question: how many bananas do you have in your possession right now? Do you feel that you have…
HOLLYWOOD — “Animaniacs” star Yakko Warner has refused to acknowledge the existence of Israel in an updated version of the “Yakko’s World” song recorded for…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump took to Twitter last night to announce that all American forces currently serving overseas in Donkey Kong Country are expected…
MODESTO, Calif. — Local music fan Kenny Dillinger noted publicly yesterday that he is happy to listen to anything except for women and country music,…
EAST LANSING, Mich. — Diddy Kong is the latest celebrity to stand accused of using his celebrity status to bypass the rigors of higher education,…
ABINGDON, Oxfordshire, U.K. — Experimental rock band Radiohead revealed today that their seminal album “Kid A” actually stands for “Kid Antebellum,” deciding for some reason…
DONKEY KONG ISLAND — The price of a wooden barrel containing Diddy Kong, beloved friend and sidekick of Donkey Kong, has plummeted to an all…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — A merch cashier at Little Rock’s Verizon Arena apologized profusely last night to a gaggle of irate Parrotheads for running out…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A new biography titled Coming All Over the Country, chronicling the life of frontman Ollie Campbell of Ollie Campbell and the…
I don’t drink, smoke, or go on the Internet and look at naked people. But I’ve got one addiction: Christian music. Whether I’m swaying along…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Local pop-punk band The Suicide Summer is embroiled in a heated dispute with local country band The Hay Bale Boys over whether…
I’m a very open-minded person. As such, my tastes and preferences are pretty wide-ranging. On any given day I could find myself enjoying pop-punk, EDM,…