I recently purchased a bottle of Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Shampoo with the expectation that my prolonged bouts of showertime sadness would subside thanks to…
SEATTLE — Local anarchist Tommy Greggors staunchly declined to answer a survey about his experience at OfficeMax, confirmed sources. “I simply refuse to let the…
As the hole in the crotch grows larger than each leg hole, my wife begs me to buy a new pair of Hanes! First of…
When you think of trustworthy, dependable reviews of automobile dependability and capacity, there is only one name you think of. If you need someone to…
WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in his social circle, according to…
When my Uber driver arrived at my home without the drink that I ordered to go with my meal, the drink I PAID for and…
LOS ANGELES — Fans of the Misfits were thrilled yesterday as the original lineup of the highly influential punk band reunited to verbally harass a…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Avid sneakerhead Jeremy ‘Choice Kicks’ Santini reportedly died inside when first time homeowner Michael Beatty instructed all party guests to remove their…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Newly vaccinated woman Denise Adame took advantage of her inoculated status late yesterday afternoon to step outside and take in the fresh,…
LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of personally selected vinyl is sent…
AUSTIN, Texas — Members of up-and-coming indie-rock band Flight of Fancy are hoping their SXSW showcase spot on the Esurance “Music for the Modern World”…
SAN FRANCISCO — Friends of local punk Derek Evans report they are already fed up with his anti-Christmas rants that accompany every holiday season, a…