AUSTIN, Texas — Outdoor enthusiasts gathered today to celebrate the opening of a brand new multi-use outdoor space by watching a shitty-looking white guy perform…
LONDON — Longtime royal and purveyor of British tradition Queen Elizabeth could not recall at what point in her life she knighted American rapper and…
CORNWALL, UK — Singer and pianist Tori Amos officially entered into a domestic partnership with her longtime piano bench in a quiet ceremony with close…
PITTSBURGH — Local woman Stephanie Commita’s relationship of seven years is reportedly “teetering on the brink of complete collapse” following a recent amateur tarot card…
CEDAR HILLS, Ore. — Local casually practicing Wiccans Lois and Timothy Webb told friends earlier this week that, while they are still technically Pagan, they…
CHICAGO — Cadets of the Chicago Police Academy were reminded of the exhausting six weeks of training they endured in order to become full-fledged police…
WASHINGTON — Onlookers at the traditional Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony were left unsurprised today after President Trump attempted to sneak his own name…
NEW YORK — Fast food chain White Castle held a plaque dedication ceremony this morning commemorating the 30 mini-burger order that “encouraged” musician GG Allin’s…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local crust-punk Richard Andre married his roommate Morgan Atwell yesterday in a romantic ceremony in which he passed his contagious ringworm infection…
ROHNERT PARK, Calif. – Management of the Moxie Java Café called local police early Friday morning when Ross Farrar, vocalist of the band Ceremony, grew…