Dom Turek
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Jeremy Squires is celebrating an astonishing 15 years of contemplating sobriety surrounded by friends, family,…
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Audrey Vieira
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PHILADELPHIA — Point Breeze crust punk Jett Cordova is reportedly delighted to riot regardless of whether or not the Eagles…
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Colleen Nerney
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Pride is the greatest of the highly symbolic months. A perfect time to attend a festival, get a second-degree burn,…
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Jose Balderas
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LOS ANGELES – Local man Salvador Gunez was alarmed and concerned following the aggressiveness with which his friend Seth Richter…
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Khadija Hassan
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MINNEAPOLIS — Unvaccinated couple Chris and Hannah Davidson excitedly shared the results of their latest COVID tests at a massive…
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Dianne Nora
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CINCINNATI — Your Mom is wondering if you'll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you'll…
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Khadija Hassan
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SEATTLE — Neighborhood watch app Nextdoor crashed early this afternoon after users self-snitched on their own Fourth of July barbeque…
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James Knapp
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SANDUSKY, Ohio — Local punk Curtis “Copkiller” Richards reportedly ceased his habit of constant slander against the United States while…
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Dan Kozuh
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CEDAR HILLS, Ore. — Local casually practicing Wiccans Lois and Timothy Webb told friends earlier this week that, while they…
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Patrick Coyne
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MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local dad Henry Connor insisted he will not be comfortable hugging his 27-year-old son Griffin until they’re…
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