AUSTIN, Texas — Social media marketing manager Anthony Skipper forwarded a complaint about his tortimese housecat Nickels moments ago to his HR rep, Sassafras, who…
PORT CHARLOTTE, Fla. — Local housecat Poobies was the only resident of 62 South Woodside Drive that contributed to cleaning up a pile of vomit…
BOULDER, Colo. — Straight edge kid Patrick Cohen attempted to make his cat Bucket alert and calm Tuesday afternoon by blowing fresh mountain air into…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The only working toilet in local punk house The Mooseknuckle is simply a litter box following a breakdown in plumbing weeks ago,…
PUTNAM, Conn. — Residents of local punk house The Jailblock realized yesterday that no member of the household could remember how or when they came…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local ex-boyfriend Clyde Satler caught his luckiest break since his separation from his former girlfriend yesterday, realizing that the death of her…
BOSTON — Local straight edger Austin Evans quietly formed an undying, eternal bond at a party last night with Tugger Q. Bingley, the cat cared…
Cats! The grist for the internet content mill, the furry little fucks that keep you up at night with their yowling and lovemaking. There’s nothing…
Music sets you free. It’s like an enema for your soul. I know that sounds like lame hippie shit, but it’s true. I felt it…
TACOMA, Wash. — Despite his rigorous touring schedule, guitarist Marcus Lorenez still finds time to be an “inconsiderate and neglectful” member of his household, according…
LANSING, Mich. – Following the surprise election of Donald Trump, local woman Roberta Edwards reports her emotions have vacillated between depression and fear for her…