Nathan Kamal
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Studies show pets often take on the characteristics and habits of their owners. Okay, well if that’s true, then my…
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Bobby Korec
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SEATTLE — Local cat owner Robbie Kratchiz admitted yesterday that his cat tree was the most expensive piece of furniture…
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Literally A Koala
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DOYLESTOWN, Pa. — Local sous chef and frequent masturbater Kyle Myers would not pause his jerk-off session Monday when his…
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Jonah Nink
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Much like TV, ice cream, and porn, pets exist solely to distract us from the inevitability of death. Well, until…
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Taylor Roebuck
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Punk house staple and eight-year-old tabby cat Fat Vince Neil became the highest contributing member of…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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NEW YORK — Local gamer Jared Kalashnik reportedly told friends today that he just cannot understand the appeal of Pokémon…
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Jason VanSlycke
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SACRAMENTO — Local punk house staple and thought to be beloved cat GG Mewollin is actually an opossum, veterinary sources…
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Krissy Howard
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WHITEFISH, Mont. — Conservative woman and Facebook friend kept in an effort to “not live in some echo chamber” Megan…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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BURBANK, Calif. — Insomniac has announced that the Miles Morales Spider-Man game for the PlayStation 5 will feature an intricate…
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Bobby Korec
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Time to take a fucking stand, people. You are either a dog person: loyal, social, and agreeable. Or you are…
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